Commercializing Love

The first time I ever celebrated a Valentines Day with a significant other was when I had just started to date Andrew. He was a senior in high school and I was a sophomore. I took the opportunity to profess my love for Andrew by hiring a female barbershop quartet to serenade him in the middle of his CWP class. I don't know that I've ever seen Andrew as mortified as he was on that occasion. I took pictures so that we could look back on that in fifty years and try to remember who those people were. The women were all over forty, they wore sparkly red jumpsuits, and they presented Andrew with a single red rose when they were finished humiliating him. Priceless.

The first year that Andrew and I celebrated a Valentines Day as a married couple, I gave him a Portland Trailblazers jersey. He doesn't wear it very often anymore, but he refuses to let me cart it off to Goodwill. I'd like to think that it's because he's emotionally attached to it, but I know better.

This year I am giving Andrew a gift certificate to Massage Envy. He's been talking about getting a massage for years, and I am finally giving in because I realize that while I have no desire to let a stranger rub me down, he does. I hope he gets a man masseuse.

I have always been a pain in Andrew's rear when it comes to gifts. My feeling is that if he's going to spend some money on me, he shouldn't buy something that will die. So flowers are out. I like flowers and all, but they are predictable and expensive and I'd rather see some growing in my yard than withering in a vase. (But only if someone else planted them in my yard, because I hate gardening.) Candy is a useless gift, because at any given time, I likely have a stash of chocolate and other sweets hidden in the cupboard.

This year I decided to give Andrew a hand with the process and just get myself a gift. So last night I signed myself up for Netflix on the computer, and then Andrew looked over at me from his recliner where he was watching ESPN, and said, "Happy Valentines Day!" I told him thank you for his thoughtful gift and then filled my movie queue with flicks that I want. You see, this is only a gift for me, so only I get to chose the movies. The power is totally going to my head.

First up: Heart and Souls, Signs (to watch with the kids), Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. I can't wait to check the mail tomorrow!