I often think of starting different recurring series here. I have started one called "Confession Session", but that one is all about me and the things that I feel guilty about. Why I want to share those things with you, I do not understand. Self-therapy? Anyhow, I've decided enough about me, let's talk about you.
"Self Exploration" is the new, all about you series. Once a week, not sure which day, I will pose a question to you, and you can ponder, reflect, look inside yourself, and maybe learn a little something. I would imagine that we have more in common with each other than we might have thought. It's intended to get you thinking, and you don't have to share your thoughts if you don't want to, but I'd love to read your ideas and thoughts. Comment anonymously if you would like to.
So, without further ado, I present our first question: (And I'm going to answer this one here to get things going. I may do this every time. We'll see.)
What one thing do you need to stop telling yourself?
I spend an awful lot of time with myself. I talk to myself all day long, seeing as no one else here does. Yeah, they grunt at me when their sippy cups are empty and whine when someone takes their ball, but that's about it. So I am my own company. Scary, isn't it?
Considering all of the quality time I have to spend with my thoughts, I think it very important that I stay positive. But I don't. I am the World Champion Worrier. The Queen of What-Ifs. Murphy's Law is my nagging mother.
So I need to stop telling myself that something bad is going to happen. Including waking up in the morning and thinking, 'Today is going to suck.' (Sorry - I know the word suck is unladylike.) I need to start telling myself that I can overcome anything, and that I can do it with a cheesy grin on my face.
Personally, I need to stop telling myself that no one cares.I mean people may care about me, but not so sure they care about what i have to say, at all. A lot of the time, I ask people questions; wanting them to talk because i always feel,what ever i have to say doesnt matter "Its dumb, random, and no one cares to hear about your memories in elementary school,your prom experience, or when you broke that kids nose.." When i do say something though, people usually brush it off; making me feel like i just wasted their time and my air.Like I have been talking to a wall; they show no interest.Sounds a little emo-ish. But i dont mean it that way. :) promise! Just kind of the way i've been raised with my family. According to them.. my opinion didnt matter,and was wrong because it wasnt theirs.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, That's probably how i picked that up. Sadly :) I think i just psychologically convince myself, but it's something I've been working on for a long time now. Not sure if that answered the question at all. But yeah... :)
"no one cares to hear about your memories in elementary school,your prom experience, or when you broke that kids nose."
ReplyDeleteElementary school- You did 4H, and piano and eventually became a life guard?, and you only went to public school like one or two years...and you had, what 3 best friends, including Heather...?
Your prom experience- ughhh. well, you've mentioned it a few times. You generally are not a fan of formal dances, but liked dating and being social. And one time after a dance you had to deal with a big jerk!
That time you broke that kids nose- ok, that wasn't the braces incident, was it? That was on the playground? And you've found him on Facebook.
I swear I was listening! It's midnight, ok? I set out to disprove you, but I think my horrid vagueness TOTALLLLy proved your point.:)
Briana, I LOVE hearing you talk. You are very interesting, and you tell your many cute stories and insightful perceptions/thoughts/ feelings in a very entertaining way. My parents also did some of that, it's not your fault. You are a good listener, and you deserve to be listened to. Surround yourself with people who will and not poopheads!!
Bethany, I hope this is the kind of discussion you were looking for :)
I've worked a lot on improving negative thought patterns, and it really helps. As a Man Thinketh, so is He, right? Lately I've been working on telling myself that it's OK to let go of the insannnne ball of thoughts that go, "Why? How come? What if? DANG IT!" until I'm ready to pass out and have to step out of class or find myself curled up in the fetal position making faces at the wall. No, I'm not kidding!! :) Also that I might have to cool it on the "People are looking at me, and they are JUDGING ME!!!" front. But they totally are, right? Also to generally make my thoughts more loving and productive, and less fearful and insane. Ha haha...
Cheers,
Laura
p.s.- if you think today is going to suck, remember you add sunshine to other peoples' days with your delightful blog, so basically yeah
I need to stop telling myself that everything needs to be done RIGHT NOW! I'm the type of person that, once I decide something should be done, I want it done - like yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI put enormous amounts of pressure on myself and my family to accomplish these tasks that don't always need the dire time limits that I impose on them - in fact, they usually do not.
I need to learn that things will still get done, even if they are not done immediately, and that I will probably enjoy the outcome more if I am not locked in a padded room somewhere. :)
Having children is forcing me to learn a lot of this, because my priorities have obviously changed from things like a spotless house, to being able to spend time with my kids. But more often than I would like, I find these panicky thoughts creeping back in and catching hold of me before I realize it. At least I'm learning to recognize it more easily though - right?
ok so i can totally relate to Natalie. I could just say ditto and be done, but that's not fair. Plus it helps to weed out the brain and figure out what really makes me crazy. right?
ReplyDeleteIn my head I am always saying "don't yell at the kids unless it's a true emergency." I also say in my head "point out the positive first."
Most prominantly I hear my mother's voice as a teen telling me how to do this or that. I hear her say some negative things and how I should do that better. I love my mom dearly she is a great woman, but was handed the horrible task of raising 2 teenage girls.
The one thing I constantly tell myself is this " Don't talk to your children/family like your mother talked to you because you remember how it feels!"
So i guess i am constantly telling myself to stop being negative.
This is going to sound so bad, but I am constantly telling myself that I am the worst mom ever, or the worst person ever. I am a serious perfectionist when it relates to my own performance (shocking, I know), so the slightest thing makes me think this. It can be that I neglected to send something with my kid to school, or I forgot to pack something we needed on a trip, or I didn't say the right thing... the list could go on and on. And that's the first thing that pops into my mind is what a horrible person I am for not being perfect. Of course I really know I'm not the very worst person, but for just that second it still pops into my head.
ReplyDeleteI try to then remind myself of murderers and child abusers, and that sometimes helps. I have heard that saying things like this to yourself is a sin, because it's like denying the divinity you have within you from God. There was a really good article about this very thing in the October 2009 Ensign called "Truths and Lies" that talked about the lies that Satan puts in our minds about the nature of God and ourselves, and what the truth really is. Looks like I need to go back and read it again!