Does Flexing My Bum While I Type Count As Exercise?

There are only seventeen days until I leave for my anniversary trip back east, and because I have a limited wardrobe to take with me, I have to go on a little crash diet.  Right at this moment, I would have to grease my butt and thighs to get into my one truly fabulous pair of pants. 

I have never dieted before, IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, but I figure that after three decades (almost) and four babies, I shouldn't feel bad about having to start now.  Some of you might be thinking that I don't need to lose any weight, and I have to tell you that while I might not weigh much, every ounce of me is flubber.  So unless you've seen me naked, you don't get to tell me I'm thin enough.  And believe me, if my pants were more forgiving, I wouldn't even bother.

This morning I plopped on the bed and looked at Andrew as he zipped up his pants, (only slightly sucking in), and said, "We are leaving in just a little over two weeks.  Want to starve with me between now and then?"  

"Sure," he said.  And then he informed me that he planned to lose five pounds by Monday.

"That's only two days!" I said.  

"It's just water weight," he scoffed.  

Men have all the luck.  Not only will he hardly have to work to drop those five pounds, but he won't have to bleed from any orifices while he does it.  I, on the other hand, will have to skip that therapeutic milkshake, not even look at the leftover Easter candy in the cupboard, exercise, (gasp!), and suffer the pains and fatigues of Aunt Flo's visit at the same time.  And in two days, while Andrew is standing on the scale, gloating over his loss of five pounds, I will be exactly eight ounces lighter than I am today, and if I'm lucky none of that will have come from what's left of my boobs.  

In attempt to start off well, today I drank four glasses of water, (Hello, did you fully appreciate that statement?), only drank one can of soda, and stopped short of eating that second burrito at lunch.  They were small burritos, and these are all big steps for me.

I would love to be at my pre-Drew weight before we leave, so I'm going to tell you exactly what that is and that way feel accountable and maybe actually see it happen.  I want to be at 135 pounds, and in spite of my best efforts, I seem to have gained two pounds today, so I need to shed seven pounds by my birthday.  Then I won't have to put a can of Crisco in my suitcase.  That's possible, right?