Sven, Bertha, Dilbert, and Hilde

I wish to inspire everyone to live life to the fullest. To make each day memorable; come hell or high water, or threat of bodily injury. This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect identities.



Once upon a time there was a young woman, Bertha, who was very good friends with a woman named Hildegarde. They had gone to school and church together for several years and had many adventures. Eventually, Bertha fell in love with Hildegarde's brother, Sven, and they were married shortly after Hildegarde married her own love, Dilbert.

One summer, Hildegarde and Bertha, along with their husbands, spent a lovely weekend at the beach. They basked in the sun, visited quaint shops, and splashed in the salty sea water. At the conclusion of their memorable weekend they traveled back to the city, but on the way they decided to pay a visit to Sven and Hilde's mother on the family farm.

When they got to the farm, however, the mother was out. While they waited for her to return, Sven and Bertha decided to take a nap, while Hildegarde and Dilbert opted to go for a walk.

Sven and Bertha made their way back to the guest bedroom and laid down on the bed. As Bertha was lowering her tired head towards the pillow, she looked out the window and caught sight of Hilde's head popping up out of the tall grass in the field across from the house. "That's odd," she thought. "Where's Dilbert? I thought they were going for a walk? And what is Hilde doing kneeling in the grass?"

But then Bertha's jaw dropped as she saw Hilde peel her shirt off and disappear again into the very tall grass.

"Sven!", shouted Bertha. "Hilde and Dilbert are doing it in the field!"

"Where?", asked Sven and he hopped off the bed to peer out the window.

"Right there in the grass, out past the well," pointed Bertha.

Sven began to laugh as he watched the grass moving to and fro in the very still summer air.

"Let's get the hose!", snickered Bertha.

"No way," protested Sven, "Hilde will kill you. She's much stronger than you and you know she would take you down."

"Yes, but first she'd have to catch me, and would she really chase me through the field naked?"

"Well, it'd be that or hunker down in the grass getting soaked!"

"True," muttered Bertha, "but either way it would be hilarious to watch! And I might be able to outrun her. Let's go!" Bertha bounced off of the bed and darted for the door.

"No. You are not getting the hose," commanded Sven, grabbing hold of Bertha's wrist. "Just go to sleep - it's not worth the trip to the emergency room."

"You're no fun at all," came the pouting reply from Bertha, but she obediently lay down and closed her eyes, trying not to picture the scene outside the window.

Bertha never did fall asleep on that golden afternoon. She spent the nap hour picturing all the possible outcomes of having gone through with her wicked hose scheme. Some of her daydreams were frightening, but most made her smile. And to this day, whenever someone talks about regrets in life or changing the past, Bertha remembers that day and vows to never let an opportunity to use a hose go unused again.