The Inconvenience of Poop

I am a nervous pooper. Anxiety gets the better of me, and I instantly have diarrhea. This rather inconvenient issue flares up whenever I have to speak in public, when I do something bad and am facing exposure, (yes, this still happens to me), and whenever a certain family member of mine calls on the phone or sends me an e-mail. In fact, just thinking about all this is making my guts rumble.

Excuse me - I'll be right back...

Okay, all better now. Where was I? Oh - right.

So I'm learning to deal with this side effect of my personality, and giving myself an internal therapy session, I suppose it's a sign of weakness. But this is not the case with my husband.

You see, he has the same disease, but his takes effect whenever something needs to be done. Nice, huh?

I ask him for help with the dishes, and POOF! he has to poop. It hits really fast - almost like magic. By the time he emerges, dishes are done.

Today we decided to clean up the backyard, and as I'm headed out the backdoor he hollers to me that he'll be out after he uses the bathroom. He eventually showed up after I had already gotten all the toys put away in the garage, the tent taken down from the boys' backyard camp out, and nearly had the picnic table dragged back to it's proper place.

I've decided that he's brilliant, and next time I get a disease, I'm going to make sure it suits my purpose.