10. No more 7:00 AM searches for clean socks.
9. Homework - I swear it's more painful for me than for the kids.
8. That feeling of guilt for not volunteering - it's gone now.
7. No one is going to call me from the school ten minutes after I put the babies down for naps and tell me they need to be picked up because they are deathly ill/have broken their arm/hate school.
6. No more hunting for library books every Wednesday morning.
5. No more stacks of art projects brought home that I have to sneak into the trash can after the kids are in bed.
4. Checking backpacks and finding brochures for Disney Vacations that will contribute some proceeds to our school - thing of the past. Can't tell you how many times my kids thought that those brochures were free tickets to Disneyland. Sneaky, bastard travel agencies.
3. I can stop cutting box tops. Those things are a pain. (I know you're going to say that I should keep saving over the summer. Bite me.)
2. Kids can stay up late, which means I don't have to disappoint them anymore by saying, "Sorry, I can't play Monopoly with you - it's bedtime!" Wait...that's not such a bad thing...
and the number one reason why I'm glad that school is out.....
No more competitive lunch packing!
You know what I mean, right? Your kid hates the cafeteria food, so you pack them a lunch from home, but it has to be good so that they aren't the loser who's mother packs organic granola and love notes written on napkins. All the kids are going to sit around the lunch table and pull out their items one by one so that everyone knows how cool or uncool they are. To keep your kid from getting wedgies that leave psychological damage ya hafta throw in Twinkies, and those disgusting yogurt tubes, and no one will ever eat the sandwich, no matter what kind you make. And you do all this so that your kid knows you care about his social status, which makes you rather ill.
So now my kids can spend the summer eating Ramen Noodles. And they are gonna like it.
I love this list. I have spent half my life looking for library books, socks and shoes. And it's 9:10 and no one is stirring at my house, and that makes me incredibly happy!
ReplyDeleteI HATE homework too. In third grade, they don't give it. Not sure why, but third graders get a break and I love it.
We played hooky the last two days of school. My son's fifth grade teacher said "Do it! They don't take attendance and the teachers don't want you to send them." So I didn't and my son's first grade teacher was crushed. What the heck? I thought I was doing her a favor.
I've got enough to feel guilty about without "hooky on a half day guilt."
Yay summer!
i love lists. :) and i can see why a good chunk of your duties are magically gone. enjoy the time off!
ReplyDeleteYay! And the best part is, you don't have to worry about that stuff next year, either! They can wear dirty socks to homeschool, and you don't have to volunteer for anything, and you don't have to give them busywork that results in all that garbage-can artwork, and they can eat ramen every day for the whole school year! Also, you don't have to give them one single Disneyland brochure. You're gonna love it!
ReplyDeleteLMAO! I love this list. YES to all of it. I'm so there with you, sometimes my girl just ends up wearing mismatched socks with jeans so no one will see. Oh and the lunchbox comes home empty of everything else but that damn sandwich! And oh how I hate mornings! HATE them. this is just too funny.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any children in school yet, but I can imagine the hassles homework and lunch packing can bring... then again, the kids are gone all day... which... must... be.... amazziiinngggggggggggg
ReplyDeleteHere, here, Sister!! #5 is my favorite. Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids in school yet but this sounds like the perfect list to me! The lunch thing scares me! My 3 year old currently eats things like carrots and radishes. He's gonna get a wedgie huh?!
ReplyDeleteHaha! This was too stinkin' hilarious! I can relate to all of these. I especially love the bit about the lunch packs. I'm feeding my kids ramen noodles over summer break too. And you know what? They're gonna like it, dang it! lol
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by my place. Have a great weekend.
Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama
Not to mention sleep in mornings and do anything days all summer! YEA
ReplyDeleteIn their defense ALL tickets kids get to ANYWHERE are free. Lousy freeloaders.
ReplyDeleteThat is too good! I love it. I homeschool my kids, but I can remember what it was like going to public school when I was a kid, and the lunch thing - you totally nailed it! I have to tweet this one, it's just too funny.
ReplyDeleteHappy SITS Saturday Sharefest! Peace. Now I must follow you... :)
This is TOO funny! I have 3 daughters. The oldest one is grown and married and my middle one graduated a couple of weeks ago. That leaves just one in high school. Oh, how I remember those crazy days of searching desperately for socks and library books, cutting box tops (and soup labels), packing lunches and staying up half the night helping with homework (and projects). It seems like just yesterday. The memories are bittersweet. :0) I am both excited and sad about this new chapter I'm about to start in my life.
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm stopping by from SITS. I wanted to say hello and share some comment lo♥e. I really love your blog so I just became your newest Follower. I would really like it if you would take a minute to check out my blog and follow me, too, if you like what you see.
I hope you are having a really wonderful weekend!
HAPPY SITS SATURDAY SHAREFEST!
Blessings,
Teresa <><
♥ Too Many Heartbeats ♥
Oh my goodness- this was funny! I guess it was extra funny because I am a teacher who sends home the homework, all the annoying flyers from school, reminders to collect box tops because the Box Top Store will be open tomorrow etc. And yes- you should still collect them over the summer! Haha! Enjoy summer break- I know I sure am! “Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest”
ReplyDeleteMy list is so different than yours ~ too funny! I should do a post like this WHEN we are out of school ~ NOT until June 21st ~ no fair!! =) *sigh*
ReplyDeleteJune 21st?? That's hideous!
ReplyDeleteYep...this list is my sentiments EXACTLY. School is stressful!! And it was just Kindergarten. Next year all three of my older kids will be in school. I'm already stressed out thinking about the LOADS of papers they will bring home each day. Seriously, lets save a tree, people!!
ReplyDeleteOk--after reading your Thursday Writer's Workshop, I scrolled down to read more--seriously...LOVE your writing!! I bet you are a HOOT in Person!! I will be following you so I can continue to read...I think I've laughed through every post I've read!! Nice work!!
ReplyDelete