Laying in bed with Andrew, trying to go to sleep...
Him: I can't sleep.
Me: Shhh...
Him: I'm going to steam roll you.
Me: No, you aren't.
Him: (Steam rolls me.)
Me: Gerroff! Yer squithing me!
Him: (Rolls off, laughing.)
Me: You bastard, I was almost asleep!
Him: Sorry! (Laughs.) You know, this lady came into the store today - she wanted...
Me, interrupting: Noooo! You're not going to talk about cabinets, are you?
Him, continuing as though I had not protested: ...cherry cabinets for the same price that IKEA had quoted her for cabinets she'd have to put together herself...
Me, interrupting again: How many celebrities do you think have three nipples?
Him: Who cares? Did you remember to buy me some deodorant?
Me: Yeah, but I couldn't remember which kind you like so I just sniffed them all until I found one that smelled familiar. Hope I got the right kind.
Him: I'm sure it'll be fine.
*Silence*
Him: Let's be Catholic.
*More silence*
Him: We got a billboard for our store. We're already getting a lot of traffic from it.
Me: How about you keep talking about work, and I'll be asleep in no time.
Him: Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I want ice cream. Do you want ice cream?
Me: No. I want to go to sleep.
Him: (Steam rolls me again as he gets out of bed to get his ice cream.)
Me: (Laying in bed, trying to decide if I'm more tired or turned on by the idea of ice cream.)
Him: (Clearing throat, tossing from one side to the other.)
Me: You're so freaking loud! I thought you went to get ice cream?
Him: I did. I'm back now.
Me: Well, crap! I was asleep then, and you woke me up!
Him: Sorry. I'll be quiet now.
Me: THANK YOU.
Him: (Clears throat and loudly flips to the other side again.)
Me: Aaaarrrggghh!
Him: Shhh. I'm trying to sleep.
It's this, and the thought of having my own bed with perfectly placed blankets at all times of the night, that make me want my own bedroom.
You would definitely get more sleep, but then you'd miss his conversation. This is pretty much how our "pillow talk" goes. It's when we get our best talking done!
ReplyDeleteI keep telling David I would be perfectly ok with separate beds in the new house for these types of reasons.
ReplyDeleteExcept I know I'd miss him, go over for a quick snuggle and get stuck there.
Are you both ADD? jk!
ReplyDeleteI love your last statement about perfectly placed blankets. Why are men such sloppy sleepers?!
That is hilarious. ours is similar. Only my husband gets cold cereal and crunches it while I'm falling asleep.
ReplyDeleteI love how random that was! We have fan issues. I want a fan on at all times, my husband(the weanie) swears it makes his tender ears hurt. So, either I'm hot and on top of the covers, or he's got his head buried underneath. It's sad and not sexy at all!
ReplyDeleteSeparate beds...separate rooms...I know I'd sleep MUCH better! Why are their noises so LOUD?!!
ReplyDeleteOMGolly! That is our exact conversation's as well..why do men think it is romantic to talk about work..in bed? WTH? Honestly!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but I love the fact that you get steam rolled in bed. Me, I get dutch ovens. Not sure which is worse.
ReplyDeleteWe talk about work in bed, because that is the first time we get a word in edgewise apon our return from work! Most relationship books tell husbands that good ones listen to their wives go on and on about their days. It takes about as long to do that as it takes to get ready for bed. That's when we get to "mention" our day! Just giving a reason, not defending our position. Let the tomatoes fly!!Ha Ha! BTW, I do like to converse with my wife and find out about her day - it's not a "chore".
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm the odd woman out. I mean, we talk about work sometimes in bed, but DH and I HATE being apart from one another, and I can't fathom separate beds, even when we are 80! I guess Him being deployed, and always gone training, etc (for the Army) gives us enough alone time (and enough time with work) that neither of us want any thing but to lie in each others arms, and think of nothing but each other when we are together!!
ReplyDeleteBut I must say, I LOVED this post! Gave me a giggle!! Good luck with the current sleeping situation you find yourself!! LOL ;-)
Mahahaha! Pillow talk rules.
ReplyDeleteLet's be friends :)
I laughed so hard I almost peed....this sounds like just about every night in our room as well...minus the steamrolling, lol
ReplyDeleteEverytime I hear my husband snore I think how nice it would be to have my own bedroom! Visiting here from SITS.
ReplyDeleteThere definately are nights in my house where I wonder who on earth came up with the idea that married couples must share a bed, LOL. I want to ring my husbands neck when he has nights like this where he cannot sleep, but I'll admit I laughed at yours :) So much funnier when it's happening to someone else! Visiting from SITS.
ReplyDeleteOver from SITS and laughing so hard I'm crying! Smelling the deoderant, talk about work some more, tired or turned on by ice cream....girl, you're hilarious! I totally get you.... off to check out more......
ReplyDeleteLaughing my butt off - this post was so familiar!!!!
ReplyDelete