I didn't choose this week's writing prompt from the list so much as it just fell into my lap. It was number three - Steppin' outside the box (describe a time when you went way out of your comfort zone).
You know what I never wanted to be when I grew up? A soccer mom. Literally. I very much wanted to me a mother, just not the kind who knew anything about soccer.
I have nothing against soccer, besides a deep-seated notion that it's hands-down the most boring sport ever. I don't deny that soccer takes talent, or even that it deserves to be wildly popular. I just find myself snoring over the very idea of it. I'm odd, I know.
So imagine my chagrin when Ethan decided that it was the only sport he wanted anything to do with. And then think of the distress I felt when I received an e-mail from the city not long ago stating that they needed two more volunteer coaches or they'd have to start refunding money, (kicking kids off the teams).
What could I do? I volunteered. With the specification that that they should use me only as a very last resort seeing as games are on Saturdays and I have a husband who works Saturdays and three kids who would then need a babysitter. Plus practices.
OH! AND THE FACT THAT I'VE NEVER PLAYED SOCCER IN MY LIFE AND HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE RULES ARE OR HOW TO COACH OR PLAY IT!!!
Sorry. I needed to get that out.
So of course, they immediately plastered my name right on the list of willing volunteers and sent out an e-mail to all the player's parents stating that they had all the coaches they needed. Psh.
I'm freaking out just a tad. But if nothing else, at least I get a cool bag and a whistle out of it. That's crap I can use every day, people.
Can I borrow the whistle? I could totally use it at my house everyday. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteAnd think of all of the blogging fodder that's in your future! Good times ahead ;)
I'm not a soccer mom (yet), but from my experiences watching my nieces play... at that age, they pretty much chase the ball around like a swarm of little bees. So maybe you'll get off easy and won't have to teach them positions?
ReplyDeleteOh, whistkes are always useful. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI bet there is one of those bright yellow "coaching soccer for dummies" books out there.
ReplyDeleteMy husband has zero interest in soccer. Never played and it's just not his sport. He knows nothing about it. They didn't even have a soccer team when we were growing up.(Our town is so behind the times and we really are getting old) But, he got stuck head coaching Mack's team when he was in kindergarten.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say, it was great. Those kindergarteners ran all over him. My oldest who'd played soccer and I laughed our heads off at every game.
My husband won't touch that one again with a ten foot pole!
Good luck to you, coach!
I love how your tepid response translates into a "thanks for volunteering". I hope the "World's Greatest Coach" mug you get at the end of the season is awesome.
ReplyDeleteIt really is pretty cool that you are coaching your son's team even if you don't know what you're doing. The kids will never know.
I played soccer for years, and I still wouldn't be a coach!
ReplyDeleteHow old is he? If you need any questions answered, let me know!
Visiting from Mama Kats...
ReplyDeleteOh ... that whistle will be worth the price you pay!! And what a good mom you are. And if your team is young enough, I think the sum total of coaching you need to do is point them to the right goal!
He's 7, so they do play positions and the refs call everything except off sides. Whatever the heck that is.
ReplyDeleteIt is one of those sports I would never watch on TV, but had an absolute blast watching locally and for sure playing. They should offer some quick start training, but when it comes down to it, just kick the ball in the other guys net! Its like a herd following a few fast guys following a ball. It should be fun - you decide if your miserable or not!
ReplyDeleteHey, you got swag, at least!
ReplyDeleteI have always secretly wanted to be a soccer coach, but no one's asked. Sigh. And I agree, it will be great blog fodder!
The things that we do for our kids! Good for you! I hated soccer too, and after all THREE of my kids decided that they wanted to do it, I bought in, and I love it now.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog earlier.
Good Luck!! I NEVER Wanted to be a Soccer Mom either....have never played the game, have never been interested, know NOTHING about it...and then my oldest came to me a couple years ago and said she wanted to play. OIY! She played 3 seasons, I no longer feel AS much distain for the sport as I *DID* (I meant to say Did...its amazing how after watching your own child play, you enjoy a sport you didn't before) He'll love having you there! My hats off to you!
ReplyDeleteYep. I know more about just alomst every other sport besides soccer. My oldest played in one league when he was 5. That's it. I won't sign the other kids up for it. That's cool you get goodies - we don't.
ReplyDeleteOh no! I played soccer for three years back.in.the.day and I was still feeling like such a bad co-coach the one year I relented and volunteered to help!! Now I always volunteer to plan the party or install the banner at the games...but hey, I love the bag and could use the whistle, so I may reconsider....
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with you - little league baseball has got to be the most boring sport on Earth! At least with soccer there is constant movement. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd you're going to be Ethan's hero - go coach!
This reminds me of when my mom reffed our Young Women's basketball game. She had no idea what the hell she was doing. Blew the whistle. And her reason was because, "Something didn't look right." Funny.
ReplyDeleteSoccer, golf, and baseball are 3 of the most boring sports to watch. Ever. Just saying.
Well, that would definitely be outside of my comfort zone. But see what a good mom you are?! Good luck with that whole thing. Also, I must beg to differ, I believe that baseball is the most boring sport ever, hands-down.
ReplyDelete