Walk A Mile - Twins Are Taking Over

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but in the real world, twins are kind of a novelty.  In Blog Land, however, it seems almost as though not having twins will put you in the minority.

It's a crazy world we live in.

So with that introduction, I present to you, Natalie.  I'll let her tell you her own story in her own words, but I have to say that even if she weren't my sister, I'd think her thoughts on parenting were pretty dead on anyhow.

(Oh, and if you still don't know what Walk A Mile is you can get the low-down by clicking here.)

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The twins were our first children and they were a huge surprise.  And when I say surprise, I mean we walked into my 20 week ultrasound, anxiously awaiting the news of “It’s a girl” or “It’s a boy”, only to be asked, “How do you feel about more than one baby?”  To say we were shocked is a gross understatement.

 

We were left with less than five months to adjust to this new idea before the babies arrived.  I wish I could say that I was immediately excited, but all I remember is being numb, then terrified, and then a feeling of overwhelming inadequacy that kept me awake more nights than my growing physical discomforts did. 

I was consumed with fear over all the complications that my now “high risk” pregnancy carried.  I agonized over whether or not I would have the ability to give each baby the attention they needed and deserved.  I worried about how we would afford all of the extra things we were sure to need.  But the strangest thing I went through was a sort of “mourning” period for what I would never have.  We would never be the little family of three – new parents who spend every waking moment doting over their little one.  Due to several factors, I had to have a cesarean section and – as strange as it may sound - I mourned the loss of a normal labor and delivery.  In short, I was a wreck. 

Then my beautiful boys were born perfectly healthy and all that worry melted away with the first kiss on their squishy pink cheeks.  That whole first year is pretty much a blur.  Sleepless nights with me and the babes in the rocking chair, all three crying our eyes out. Trying and trying again until I had mastered tandem breastfeeding.    Thousands upon thousands of diapers.  Figuring out the logistics of solo outings with two infants, so as not to feel like a prisoner in my own home.  Then feeling like a freak show every-single-time we left the house.   Two babies crawling and walking in opposite directions; two babies sick with pneumonia; two babies teething; two babies demanding our attention every single moment. 

But there were also amazing things that will forever stand out in my memory – two babies learning to smile and laugh; two babies asleep on my chest; two babies saying “Mama” for the first time.  Every hand clapping, shouting for joy, grab the video camera new development – doubled.   The day the boys discovered each other, giggled, and became instantly connected forever.  Watching my husband (who had previously held a baby all of three times) become a hands-on and fearless father.  We were exhausted, but we were making it. 

And then they turned two.  Most of you have children and understand or can imagine the trouble that can be caused by a two year old.  Now, quadruple that.  The stories I could tell about the twins’ toddler years thus far would probably send most of you running to your doctor and begging for some kind of permanent birth control.  Suffice it to say, two heads are indeed better than one and those devious little heads have pushed me beyond the limit that I thought possible to survive.  At the very least, I was convinced that a straight jacket and padded cell were in my future.  In fact, that began to sound like a very nice vacation.  

Four months ago, our third child was born.  When we found out – at six weeks this time – that it was just one baby, I was thrilled and thought “This is going to be SO easy.”   I had conveniently forgotten that I would also have a couple of two year olds at home when this baby was born.  Our daughter is precious and sweet and a very good baby.  Yes - having one baby is easier than having two.  My life at this point, however, certainly was not! 

When the twins were little, I was constantly getting comments like “Oh, I had a one year old and a newborn – that’s pretty much the same as having twins, or maybe worse.”  Nothing got my blood boiling faster than these comments.  Had these women ever had two newborns screaming at the same time, refusing to sleep at two a.m. or two babies miserable from teething at the same time?  No?  Then they should keep their mouth shut!    

When our daughter was born, however, my eyes were opened to those women’s lives.  I had three children under three.  I now understood the guilt that comes from your toddler desperately wanting your attention, while you are occupied with a cranky baby who needs to eat.  I understood the difficulty of young children at different stages that have very different needs and feeling as though you are being pulled in five directions at once.

I love all my children with my whole heart – they fill my life with joy and I would never change a thing.  But after much speculation, I’ve decided that when it comes to babies, toddlers, children, or teens and the amount of time between them, be it two minutes or six years – Nobody has it easy.