My Brain On Drugs

Today I had a trans-esophageal echocardiogram.  Which basically means a doctor stuck an endoscope down my throat to get a closer look at my heart.  I went into it thinking that if nothing else, it would at least be good blog fodder.  

Unfortunately, all I can tell you is that I came out of it with the mother of all sore throats, because the doctor had to drug me half to death to get me to relax and I don't remember a thing about the procedure itself. 

I know I was awake because I had to swallow the scope until it got to the right spot and I had to cough when the doctor told me to, but all I remember is my throat being sprayed with some numbing junk and then I was on my back and it was over.

Such a pity.

The doctor said he had to keep upping my drugs because I wouldn't just chill.  He also said that happens with a lot of mothers because we're so used to having to remain alert at all times.  Sleep with one eye open and our ears on hyper-scan, right?  

Now I'm feeling the loss of what surely would have been a great story.  I might have puked on the doctor when the scope went past my uvula or said something inappropriate when the tube was pulled back out through my mouth, and we'll never know.  

So, to make up for it I've compiled a list of hospital survival tips, should you ever find yourself in need.  But you'll have to wait until the next post to get the scoop because this one is already too long.  But be sure to check back because there's pictures of me in a hospital gown, and you know you want to see those.  

Now I'm going to go eat some ice cream and hope it puts out the fire in my throat.