Bullets

• I have to wonder why we need another Spider-Man movie.  I don't care if you think Toby Maguire was a crap Spider-Man and you loathe Kirsten Dunst - it's a comic book movie.  They aren't really supposed to be that good.  No need for a re-do.  How am I going to keep my kids from finding out about this?  I really don't want to spend another fortune on Spider-Man clothes and toys and DVDs.

• My tongue is blistered or something from all the Fire Balls I have eaten in the last two days.  I love 'em.  You wouldn't believe the things my dad made me do to earn them when I was a kid.  A kid old enough to know better.

• There's nothing quite like having a 4 year old who is so proud of the size and awesomeness of his poop that he refuses to flush it.  But that's OK, because I don't think it would go down anyway.  He has a right to be proud.

• I taught Cameron how to properly swing a bat.  I taught both Cameron and Ethan how to ride their bikes without training wheels.  I taught them how to write their names.  But for the life of me, I cannot teach Drew how to pump on the swings. 

• A few days ago my mom called me and left a message on my phone telling me that she had a zucchini that looked just like a penis.  That was all.  Nothing else on the message.  My mom is awesome.  And that zucchini must have been a real doozy because aren't they all a little phallic?

• I am reading three books all at once right now.  I never do that because I have a terrible memory which can cause confusion.  I am reading The Help, With Hitler To The End, and The Beautiful and Damned. Not on Kindle though, because I still refuse to go there.  Anyway - I'm finding that I pick up a book and suddenly I can't remember if Hitler was ever in Mississippi ordering around a colored maid while some slick trust-fund boy visiting from New York looks on and can't help but feel bored.  So now I'm determined to finish The Help before I continue with either of the others, both of which I will read one at a time.

• I am sorry for any of you who have been locked in a miserable heat wave.  But I have been stuck in the wretched Pacific Northwest, where summer has yet to make an appearance.  I'm still wearing hoodies and socks every day.  It rains here all the time.  And we've only hit 80 degrees or higher about four times this year.  Love your sunshine, People.

•  Every Thursday we go to Dairy Queen.  It's my bribe to get the kids out of the park.  When I've had enough of pushing kids on the swings I say, "Let's go get ice cream!!"  It's the only way I can get those kids to leave the dodge ball game.  So last week Trent goes running with his cone, trips on his sandal, and lands head first right in his ice cream.  He was really ticked at me for taking his picture.  And then I felt bad when I had him cleaned up and saw that he actually did have a bloody goose-egg under all that soft serve.