A lot of people in the world have strange things happen to them. I am no exception. But the only strange things that ever happen to me revolve around poop.
In order to fully appreciate the story I am about to tell, you need to read this post:
Click on that link, read the post, and then come back. I'll wait.
La, la, la, la, la.... You back? OK.
So this morning my four little boys decided to have an exercise in getting along and playing together. I smiled as they pulled all the blankets off their beds and tromped outside to build a fort on top of the play structure in the backyard.
I watched them from the kitchen windows as they piled blankets, arranged them just right, and the big boys helped the little ones climb up and hunker down in the fort.
Life is good.
After a while, I heard screaming and figured someone must have fallen off the fort and landed in the wood chips or something.
But no - in comes Drew, screaming and wailing, barefoot with smears of poop on his feet.
"Drew pooped his pants!", Ethan shouted as he gave Drew a little shove into the kitchen and high-tailed it back outside.
I lifted Drew by the armpits and carried him to the bathtub. Poor kid thought I was going to give him a cold shower for pooping in his pants and he kept crying, "Scary! It's scary!"
I assured him that I was not about to punish him because accidents happen, and I began to peel off his clothes.
There was no poop.
No poop in his shorts, no poop in his underwear, no poop between his butt checks. I told him to bend over, and I inspected his sphincter. No poop there, either.
Now I get why it was scary - he had someone else's poop on his feet!
I checked Trent's diaper - all was intact and unscathed.
I walked outside and scanned the grass all the way to the fort. No poop.
I peeked inside the fort and found minor streaks and smears of poop here and there, but no piles or chunks. It was definitely human poop, judging by the smell.
We have another missing turd.
Oh my gosh...I most definitely think he "found" the missing turd!! Funny and yet sick all at the same time!
ReplyDeleteWhy do the funniest stories all involve poop?? I read both posts and they were absolutely hilarious :) !!
ReplyDeleteOh no!!
ReplyDeleteI can say - because I've had a dog my whole life and i know how long it takes before it would harden and then disintegrate - it had to be a fresh turd.
Don't bother inviting us over for a nice backyard picnic, cause we ain't comin! Unless you find the poop, and then we'll be right over. ;)
ReplyDelete"inspected his sphincter" Hahahahahaha! Ain't motherhood grand???? :)
ReplyDeleteWell, the obvious answer is that you must have a time portal in your back yard. The poop from last year got caught in it, and was transported back to the same place, only a year later. Mystery solved.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Oh, poop. We are always looking for dog crap in our house, luckily (kind of) his poo is super stinky, so it's never too hard to find.
ReplyDeleteAren't you starting to wish that you could just have stories that involved Dr. Pepper cans mysteriously appearing in your fridge or a $20 bill in your pocket? I have to admit, the poop stories are funny though...but mysterious.
ReplyDelete