Can you even believe that Thanksgiving is next week? I can't. But I'm excited because my sis and her family are coming from Washington, and the women in my family are all going to give Black Friday a try. We're Black Friday virgins. I pulled up some online ads today, just to see what the big deal was, and it gave me anxiety. I think I might hate the whole thing, but at least I'll be in good company.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, I thought I'd share a couple of pictures from last year. They include tips. Yey! Here's tip #1:
If you use freshly ground cinnamon on your cherry pie, it's going to look like pepper and people will think you're nuts.
Tip #2:
If you use all the booze to baste the turkey, you're going to be left with only Dr. Pepper to drink while you cook. That's my mom, who wouldn't drink booze anyway. Not when you can put it on turkey.
Anyway...on to Five Question Friday.
1. What Christmas song do you loathe?
Feliz Freaking Navidad. The repetition in that song makes me rock back and forth while screaming. It should be banned from all radio stations. I can't even think about it anymore.
2. Do you and your significant other cuddle at night or sleep on opposite sides of the bed?
I like a little spooning action for about two minutes and then I need him to get the heck off me because just his arm weighs a hundred pounds and his average body temperature is five thousand degrees. Love you though, Babe.
3. Have you ever had surgery?
I had a Mitchell Bunionectomy when I was 14. Yes, I have bunions. You thought it was an old people disease - right? Well, it probably is, but I have a lot of old people diseases. I'm one step away from progeria. If you don't know what that is, then you need to spend an hour watching the weird shows my nine year old records on the DVR. Discovery Health is a bad, bad channel for anyone who suffers from hypochondria.
4. When do you typically have your holiday shopping done?
About two weeks before Christmas. One year I had it all done before Thanksgiving. It was the only time in my life that I felt like a genuine over-achiever.
5. If money were not an issue (and you HAD to pick something), what would your ultimate luxury item be?
I girlfriend for my man, a really nice camera, or a maid. Oh, forget it. A maid all the way because that could double for number one as well.
Link up, people. It's what all the cool kids are doing.
Or be hip like Pop, and just leave your answers in the comments. I love that even more!
I HATE Feliz Navidad too! Glad I'm not alone :) And I can't believe you're a Black Friday virgin! I hope you have fun with it and score lots of good deals ;)
ReplyDeleteYour mom looks positively gangster drinking her DP!
ReplyDelete1. There's a Christian song, happy birthday Jesus or something like that. HATE that song. Especially that little kid at the end: I love You, Jesus, in this shrill voice. Ugh~! And I imagine all the "kids" singing are actually grown adults.
2. My wife likes to be the big spoon. I radiate a lot of heat so I tell her we can't sleep like that. Stupid commercials that show a couple happily snuggling as they fall asleep!
3. Yup. Had a cyst removed in my digestive tract. And I don't remember it, but I don't have foreskin and I'm sure it didn't just fall off. Or did it?
4. Whenever Amazon delivers the packages to me. Hallelujah for Amazon Prime!
5. My own barista
I forgot about Feliz Navidad! I must have blocked it after all those years of having to sing it in school.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing Black Friday shopping this year too. Well, I'm going to hit Target but that's it. I've done it one time before and bought a bunch of movies for really cheap so if I can find even a few things from my list, I think it will be worth it. But I'm kind of dreading getting up that early and braving the crowd. I used to work retail and Black Friday was always a nightmare.
#1. I want to stab the maker of the christmas shoe song. You know the one where the dude runs into the poor kid who's trying to buy shoes for his Mom's corpse but can't afford them so the dude pays for it. Hate that song.
ReplyDelete#2. I have night sweats...nuff said
#3. Bunions? Hee hee. Kidding that's not funny. I've had a cyst from my ovary removed that had teeth and hair. Gross right? and back surgery
#4. Christmas is coming?
#5. Maid for shizzle.
PS. I'd eat the shat out of that pie even though it may or may not have pepper on it. Cool whip masks anything.
I don't think I have ever had cherry pie for Thanksgiving, but cinnamon or pepper or not you could definitely find me diving in head first!
ReplyDeleteI am a Black Friday virgin too. I fully intend to guard my virtue until the right sale comes along.
I love your tips and I can't wait to see you guys!
ReplyDelete1. That stupid I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas song. The woman's voice makes me want to stab a knife in my ears.
2. Same as you - cuddle for a minute, then get off me.
3. Two c-sections. Nothing like being wide awake and KNOWING they are slicing you open at that very moment, but not being able to feel a thing.
4. By Christmas Eve. If I'm lucky.
5. A maid. Alllllll the way baby!
Oh,you look like your mama.
ReplyDeleteAnd so lucky you are, to share a sense of humor.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I hate shopping as a rule but love it on black Friday because it is such a holiday tradition. Celebrating the spirit with my mother and be willing to cut a bitch if she gets in my way at the Fred Meyer half price sock sale.
ReplyDeleteI am laughing at the cinnamon pepper - hee hee! That is totally something I would do.
ReplyDeleteAnd WORD on snuggling. I can handle about 2 minutes tops before I can't breathe and start to overheat. Snuggling is hazardous to the health.
My husband often tells me I am about as cuddly as a porcupine. If that tells you anything.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of basting a turkey with booze. But then, I have never actually cooked a turkey by myself. Who am I kidding? I haven't even really helped make a turkey. I love cooking. Consider myself pretty good at it...but have never made a turkey. Crazy.
My husband often tells me I am about as cuddly as a porcupine. If that tells you anything.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of basting a turkey with booze. But then, I have never actually cooked a turkey by myself. Who am I kidding? I haven't even really helped make a turkey. I love cooking. Consider myself pretty good at it...but have never made a turkey. Crazy.
You look just like your mom; do people assume she's Russian?
ReplyDeleteYou have GOT to share your take on Black Friday!! I bet you have a lot to say about the crazies.
I totally know what progeria is! I watch those same shows.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, after reading these I've come up with some dandy Xmas songs. Your's is a good answer.
Oh, I love me some Dr. Pepper...but probably wouldn't use it on the turkey, so yeah.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the spooning thing, and have been thinking of a maid/girlfriend for the family for quite some time. But they seem to charge money, which I am loathe to part with.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, may all your wishes come true!
ReplyDelete