Best Mom of the Year Award

When I was a kid my parents let me and my sisters watch all kinds of horror movies.  I've talked about this before, so I know it isn't news to you.  The two movies that scared me the most as a kid were The Shining, and IT.  

I was about eleven years old when I saw IT for the first time.  I was sitting about three feet from our TV in the dark living room with my parents and sisters, and I was totally into the movie.  I'm not sure if I understood it all back then, but I loved to be scared and that freaking clown was doing the trick.

In the middle of the movie my dad slipped out of the living room and into the garage where he found an orange, curly haired wig in the Halloween costumes box that had been used in an Annie costume at some point in the past.  He put the wig on, crept back into the house, crawled behind the couch and jumped out at us with an evil clown chuckle.  

We all screamed and peed a drop, and Dad was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe - he just wheezed while his shoulders shook.  Mom pretended to be mad at him, but she couldn't keep the amusement out of her voice.

Tonight, I'm pretty sure I achieved that same level of Master Child Terrorizer that my dad earned on that night watching IT all those years ago.

My kids are hard to scare.  They've seen more scary movies than I ever did as a kid, and not much gets to them.  

The list of my kids' conquered scary movies looks something like this:

I Am Legend

The Village

The Sixth Sense

The Birds

Rear Window

Signs

Sleepy Hollow

The Shining

The Others 

Alien vs. Predator

Tremors

...and surely some that I am forgetting.

And so far - not much hype in the nightmare department.  I feel something between awe and disappointment.

But tonight I let Cameron and Ethan watch Halloween with me.  Let me tell ya.  For some reason, this movie was a whole 'notha story.  I think the difference came in the thriller vs. slasher film factor.  

Halloween scared the crap out of them.  They were both sitting on my lap and covering their faces with pillows and plugging their ears.

It was super awesome.

So the movie ended and I am giddy with fright-power.  I told them it was time for bed, but neither of them would go up the stairs first.  So I went first.

But I didn't just go first up the stairs...I bolted up the stairs as fast as I could and turned off every light on my way.  They were left in pitch blackness downstairs while I covered my mouth with a cupped fist and breathed as loud as I could.  Sounded just like Michael Meyers.

Ethan was crying that whiny, panicked kind of cry that doesn't produce tears, but sweat and heart palpitations.  He kept saying, "Mooooom!  Stop it!"  

I couldn't help myself.  I laughed just like my dad did.  Wheezy, shoulder-shaking giddiness.

I turned on all the lights and told them to come upstairs.  

Both Cameron and Ethan ran straight to the bathroom when they passed me and locked themselves in.  I guess it's because I kept breathing like a psychopath.  So I decided to keep playing.  I shook the doorknob and scratched the door.  It was good fun.  They came out eventually, but I'm pretty sure I could have kept them in there all night if I'd wanted to. 

They're totally having nightmares tonight.  Good thing Andrew's not home so when they crawl into my bed later there will be room for everyone.  

So whoever passes out those "Best Mom of the Year" awards can just go ahead and mail it to my house.  Thanks.

(P.S. - Just in case you are an insane, knife-wielding wacko, I wrote this last weekend and posted it today...so Andrew is home now.  No need to come visit.)