Discussion of My Viruses

I spent the first three days of the week in bed sick with a wicked cold that was perhaps amplified by the arrival of a new mattress. Who can stay out of bed when staying in it feels like heaven? I may or may not have allowed myself to feel more sick in order to stay in the nice, new bed.  But the cold has now retreated into the realm of average viral discomfort and today I had to leave the bed behind and accomplish something.

Today's accomplishments were many, but the best was going to Costco and only spending one hundred and eleven dollars. I would imagine that not many people possess that amount of self control. Small victories.

Prior to venturing outdoors and hitting the shopping scene today I had to make the journey downstairs to survey the damage caused by three days of Mom In Bed. It was fairly extensive, but nothing that can't be repaired within a 24 hour window. The most disconcerting side effect of my self-prescribed bed-rest was my children's mental status. It didn't take long for them to learn to do without Mom's help or supervision and they quickly regressed to a primitive, feeble-minded sort of existence. Allow me to paint for you a picture of what I found when I descended from my shower and make-up application around noon today...

I stepped over two coats, three pairs of shoes, several crunchy leaves, one pencil and a bullet strung on a necklace and entered the kitchen where Drew was vacantly eating a microwaved corn dog and Trent was licking ketchup off of a plate, (presumably because his corn dog had already been devoured, leaving an excess of condiment), and in front of each boy was a portable DVD player. One child was watching Napoleon Dynamite and the other, Cars 2. Simultaneously. With the volume on each machine plenty loud. Cameron was at the table with his head bent over his Nook letting his own lunch get cold while he cleaned poop off of the zebras in his virtual zoo. Toys and clothes were strung about the living room as though every family member had been changing their pants and starting wars between dinosaurs and Avengers in front of the TV all week. Dishes had spilled out of the sink and made their way to a windowsill behind the couch where they were competing with empty Mt. Dew cans for a view of the backyard. So really, it wasn't too bad. I can knock out that kind of mess in less than an hour. It was the glazed-expression, ketchup-licking, double-feature action that was primarily worrying me. So I'm glad that I got out of bed today before things progressed to the kids figuring out how to watch episodes of reality TV on cable.

Really the worst part of this whole sickness ordeal was/is not the mess downstairs or the lost days of productive work that could have been done, or the coughing until I gagged, or even the mush-minded children...it's the cold sore. Seems that every 5 months, or every time I get sick, whichever comes first, I get a cold sore. I hate them more than the fact that Drew has watched Napoleon Dynamite so many times that he is actually starting to adopt some of Napoleon's mannerisms. And with every itch and ooze of my upper lip I can't help but wonder who the hell gave me this disease? I've had them since I was four and no one in my family gets them, so it's likely that I encountered the offender at the home of my then part-time babysitter. But I'd still like a name so I could curse the person as needed. But I would imagine that a lot of people who have herpes have to spend every flare-up wondering who gave them the disease, and at least mine isn't down south, so I shouldn't complain. Things could always be worse.

Anyway - here's to good health. Hope you all have avoided this season's viruses.