I did the unthinkable last week. I took the kids to Playland at McDonald's.
Maybe that's something that most moms do all the time, but I think I could count on one hand the number of times I've been in one of those things since birthing Cameron nine and a half years ago. I hate Playland. It smells in there. The food is gross. And more importantly, I don't like other people's kids.
Take the little girl in this picture, for example. She stood on the outside of that blue room and alternately licked the Plexiglas window and screamed, "I hate you!" at decibels that made my ears bleed. Over and over and over again, at no one in particular.
Where was her mother, you ask? I'd like to know that, too. I presume she was one of the women dressed in skin-tight jeans, heels, and cashmere sweaters that was camped out at a table in a corner, completely ignoring every child in the joint. Who the hell wears heels to McDonald's? Women who are trying to impress their so-called friends and the teenage guy dipping the fries in hot oil, that's who.
While I was sitting at a table in The Dreaded Playland writing a grocery list and keeping an eye on my kids who were incredibly well behaved, I was tempted to stand up on that table and shout, "Do you all see my kids? They're the ones who are behaving like human beings, not animals. Take notes!"
But I didn't.
After my grocery list was complete, I sat for a few more minutes watching my boys and growing more and more proud of them by the minute. About ten minutes later, (which felt like ten hours), the human Bratz Dolls in the corner all stood up and started calling their kids out of the tubes and tunnels.
Guess what happened?
Nothing.
Their kids ignored them, of course. So the moms took turns hovering at the bottoms of the slides and entrances to the tunnels; grabbing their kids by the ankles whenever they could and dragging them backwards out of the toy. I was impressed that none of them chipped a nail.
But there was that one elusive two year old girl who was just too quick for her mother. So as this girl passed my son, Ethan, near the entrance of the tube, the mother shouted to Ethan, "Can you grab her? Right there! The little girl in the pink! Grab her!"
Um.
Yeah.
She totally did.
Apparently it's my kid's job to corral unruly children of incapable mothers. Part of me wanted to tell that woman to get her butt up that tube and get that kid herself, but I was pretty sure she couldn't bend at the knees in those tight pants, so just watched my seven year old do what that mother could not, thinking that at least Ethan was getting a lesson in respecting adults -- even if the adult was an incompetent stranger.
But that wasn't the end of it. My poor Cameron got snagged in the same kind of issue. A man who, like the woman before, could not get his child to come out of the structure shouted up to Cameron, "Could you please go find a little boy named Carter?"
Yeah.
He totally did.
And I was completely lost for words. Cameron went searching for Carter while Carter's dad stood outside the structure like a big dumb waste of skin waiting for my kid to produce his child.
What has the world come to?
At that point I'd had enough. I called my kids, "Cameron, Ethan, Drew!" and they came running like the Von Trapp kids at the sound of a whistle. Except I didn't need a whistle. And all the way to the car I told my kids that they are never responsible for other people's kids. And while I appreciated that they were respectful to those moron adults, they had my permission to roll their eyes and ignore the next mother who asked them to do her job. My kids were there to have fun. Not babysit.
Ok, maybe I don't dislike other people's kids. I just dislike crappy parenting.
And my kids will probably never see the inside of a McDonald's Playland again. It was so much work this last time, I doubt they'll care.
(This would be my one year old who came when he was called.)
So in case someone who needs some tips stumbles upon this blog, here it is:
If you ever ask another child, especially a complete stranger, to do your dirty work for you, you might be a crappy parent.
Um...I'm not sure how to respond to this one, because I've been on both sides of a similar story at Playland. Not wearing a cashmere sweater or heels either time.
ReplyDeleteOnce my kid was getting literally pushed and hit and the parent was not in the room. When we approached the parent and told him what was going on, he denied his kid would do such a thing (my kid was 2. This kid was like, 7). Husband nearly got into a fistfight it got so ugly.
He was completely absent and ignorant.
Flip side. My daughter can be a little bit of a defiant brat every now and again. She likes to run away from me every now and again when we need to leave places. Sometimes she tries to hide in the play tubes. It's not as bad as it was when she was 3 or 4, but every now and then it happens.
And I sometimes ask a little kid to just help me pass on a message to her if I can't see her. I don't ask them to GET her, though. And I don't ever leave my kids in Playland unsupervised. I watch them pretty carefully.
I am not a bad parent. I am not a waste of skin. I take responsibility for my kids. But that also doesn't mean that when they behave poorly or make poor choices, that it's always my fault. I have one kid who follows every rule almost always. I have one kid who pushes boundaries sometimes, but is generally a very well behaved and respectful child.
So I think perhaps your view might be slightly colored by your hatred of McDonald's playland. :)
trying not to take your post personally, but I kind of do. :)
McDonald's Playlands have never been my favorite places, so I am proud of you for even trying! I always sat in the play area, watching what was going down....and lots of the other moms were out of earshot, not watching. It did get ugly a few times, and I was glad we didn't go more often.
ReplyDeleteBethany, I would have sat in there with you, if we could have McFlurries....
Gigi, I can tell by your comment that you are not the kind of parent that I witnessed that day. These parents were all the absent and ignorant kind you mentioned. Must have been a club meeting or something.
ReplyDeleteYou make a very good point though. Not every example of bad behavior will be because of bad parenting, it could just be one of those days. We've all had our kids disobey in public, because kids will be kids. But when my kid disobeys me, I do something about it - I don't tell someone else to. Especially not a kid I don't know.
I can completely understand politely asking another child to pass a message on to my child if he isn't surfacing, like you said, but to ask some random kid to go find my kid is another story. Kids are in those crazy, smelly places to be kids, not to police other people's kids.
I want my kids to be willing to help people out, but this was one of those times when it was out of line.
It sounds like you handle those situations with graciousness - whereas these parents had no control over their kids and just sat back waiting for my kids to deliver. The man was on his cell phone while Cameron went looking for this Carter kid. I guess Dad just couldn't be bothered.
So my anger is less about a parent asking for help, (because we all need it from time to time), but the rude and neglectful way in which that help was demanded. Ethan told me the whole thing embarrassed him because he didn't know how to "grab" the girl without hurting her because she was writhing and squirming in attempt to free herself from his grasp. The mother just stood there and waited. I couldn't believe my eyes. She should have crawled up the two feet of tube herself. It's not taboo to do that, and her butt was small enough to pull it off. My kid should never have to be in that position with a total stranger. In fact, I should have stood up for him.
I'm not claiming to be a perfect parent. My kids occasionally don't mind me in public. But if it had been me, I'd have climbed up the tube and grabbed my kid myself before I pinned the responsibility on another child.
Sherri, how about we go to Dairy Queen, where there are no playlands, and have a Blizzard?
ReplyDeleteI've never had the guts to try a Nerds Blizzard. Wonder if they're any good?
Your timing on this post hit home for me. We were at Playland just this weekend. My kids were over playing in the tunnel when a little girl came over and started harassing them. I made some comment to my kids, and the same little girl came over and sat on my lap and started rifling through my purse. I never saw the parent.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Gigi... sometimes your kids are going to go bananas in a public setting, despite your best intentions. But on the flip side, it shouldn't be up to me (or any other parent or child) to rein them in.
This totally reminds me of my friend. She actually uses this story in a conference talk about dealing with stress -
ReplyDeleteShe took her son (who has Down syndrome)to the playland. Well he didn't want to come down when he was called. So my friend who is a VERY LARGE WOMAN is bent over yelling up the tunnel slide. She is so embarrassed, but her son is of course more important than her extra wide load being seen by the moms in the skin tight jeans and 3 inch heels. She finally asks a young girl if she has seen a boy up there in one of the pipes. The young girl says something along the lines of, you mean the one that has taken all his clothes off!
Yep, that would be the one. So my friend now has to decide how she is going to get her big mac butt up there to grab her child without all the other kids screaming in terror of seeing both her and her naked son. She finally got a nice young man to go up and grab her son and haul his screaming nakeness down the tunnels of doom. She now goes to the drive through :-)
Oh, that poor woman! I can't help but laugh - I hope she can now, too! Drive-thru is a mom's best friend. :)
ReplyDeleteWe don't go often either...I bet our McD's play land stinks more than yours!! Anyway..the last time we went my 20 month old was in the empty ball bin area...(you know..the old ball death trap). They still have it but it's empty now. A little 4ish year old boy crawled in there with him and I started to stroll over in that direction. Right as I did that little boy lets out one of the biggest lion roars you have ever heard...right at my poor sweet L-boy. He immediately starts screaming in fear. I in turn told the kids to "STOP IT NOW...he's just a baby". I kid you not. His mother heard the whole thing and never said A SINGLE WORD....crappy parents indeed!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I do have to say that you get some weird people reading your blog. Secondly, I too hate the mcdonald's playland and avoid it like the plague. I've taken Kate maybe 3 times. Each time I've gone, I've had a bad experience with people letting their poorly disciplined, psychotic children loose on the general population of the other normal defenseless children. And, I'm not scared to admit...I hate other people's children. (family excluded). On one extra stinky visit to play-hell, I looked over just in time to see the five and six year old girls that had been brats the whole time we had been there, punch my 2 year old nephew. I ran over to the empty ball pit and started yelling at them to let him go because they were holding him down. They looked shocked that someone would actually tell them to not be horrible. Their parents sat there while I told them to leave my nephew alone or I would come in after them myself. They didn't say a word to me. First of all, if my kid had decked somebody in the face, I'd be in that thing so fast people would think I had super powers. Second, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they were too oblivious to see their two little brats terrorizing the other kids. I know that they saw me yelling at their kid, and if some stranger started yelling at my kids, I'd be over there finding out why. Nope. They didn't budge. Maybe it was the 20lbs of grease from their quarter pounder weighing them down. Needless to say, we don't do the playland thing anymore.
ReplyDeleteNo, I never did, but let me spend a word for those 'crappy parents', sometimes, only sometimes your kid, even if you are a good parent, can be a brat and doesn't come if you call him.
ReplyDeleteOk, now I read the previous comments, I understand, but those playlands are hell!
ReplyDelete( never go to Mac )
it's great that your kids know to listen to you and aren't constantly testing you on a daily basis
ReplyDeleteas for that little girl who screamed I HATE YOU, she's going to have some serious issues when she's an adult, isn't she?
Katie - I think the cause of my dislike for places like this is that a lot of parents seem to think that being there means they are off the clock. That they get to stop being parents in those places because kids are meant to go wild. Ever been to Chuck E. Cheese? That's even worse because the kids have those hand stamps, so parents don't even have to worry that their kids will escape the premises, so why bother keeping tabs on them at all? I guess that means if we don't like it we should stay far, far away from the playlands, huh?
ReplyDeleteJulie - the smell in there really is bad, isn't it? I don't know how people can eat in there. I made my kids eat in the restaurant part first, and then we went into the gym...
Alessandra - Yes, I hope I clarified in that earlier comment that it's not the bad behavior per-say, but the expectation that we all pitch in to parent the unruly. "It takes a village" does not apply here.
Jenn - My kids absolutely test me on a daily basis. They don't often do it in public, but when they do I am all over their asses. :)
Now your voicemail makes sense - sorry I steered you in that direction! I wonder if it is a geographical thing? We've never had an issue at the Playland. Although, I avoid McD's like the plague because I think their food might, in fact, be what caused the plague, so we go to Burger King instead. Every time we've gone (granted, not often) the parents have been very watchful and immediately step in when someone gets out of line.
ReplyDeleteThe mall play area on the other hand - forget about it. Talk about parents thinking they are "off duty". I've seen all out brawls in there and no one lifts a finger. It's shameful.
I will admit however, that on one particular mall trip, my boys crawled into a hollowed out log thing and didn't emerge. I started to haul my eight month pregnant self over to check on them and another mom said "Are these your two boys in here? One of them is strangling the other one!". Great. I knelt my bulk down on the ground and pulled them out. Wrestled with them to get their shoes on, and dragged two kicking and screaming two year olds out of the mall. I was that Mom. I could feel people's disgusted stares. I was mortified. So yes, all kids have bad days, and parents do too. But I do take some solace in the fact that I handled the situation calmly, quickly, and appropriately removed them from the area. That is my responsibility as their parent. I understand that in some rare cases you do need help, but there are people who will just never understand (or care) when that line is crossed.
Natalie - I don't want to generalize the parenting in Utah, but there seem to be a lot of kids here who have never heard the word no. So yeah, it could be a regional thing.
ReplyDeleteThere you were - pregnant and carting twins around. And you pulled the kids out of the log yourself. Bravo!
My kids have had melt downs in public in the past, so I'm not saying that's bad parenting. Just the part where these crazies were enlisting help from my kids to control their kids. WTH?
Didn't you just want to stab those parents with your shoes? Oh wait you couldn't cause you can't wear shoes in the play area. So why were they? Are they above the law that Ronald McDonald himself carved in stone using nothing but an over cooked french fry! How dare they spit in his happy yet terribly creepy face like that. They should be ashamed ;)
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me glad we only use the playland at Chick Fil A. That's where all the cool kids are...didn't you know? :)
ReplyDeleteBut seriously...I so get your point. Yes everyone's kids have an off day, but that doesn't excuse bad parenting. Ever.
And what mom wears heels? Period. I would break my neck if I tried to "look stylish" while toting the boys around. I'm pretty sure that stilettos are not a Baby Bjorn accessory.
Natalie - I love that you hauled your boys outta that log and kept on going! EVERYONE'S kids are brats sometimes, the difference is the parents who ignore it, and the parents who immediately do something about it.
ReplyDeleteI think my Playland story may top them all (and this was in Texas, not Utah). When Ben was 3 Eric and I went with some friends to let our kids play, and all of a sudden Ben and another kid about 5 or 6 yrs old came down the slide bawling. While I tended to Ben, the other parent came over and told me that Ben had bitten her kid's knee (which was SOOO not like Ben) and it was bleeding and "was there anything she should know?" Like what, he's had all his shots? I told her that Ben was bleeding too, from a scratch on his neck, but she didn't care. She then proceded to take her child to the manager to complain about the terrible kid in the Playland, and her kid got rewarded with an extra Happy Meal toy and they left. And this is when my friend's hubby chose to tell us that this all happened in one of those plastic bubble things at the top and he had seen the whole thing. The bigger kid had Ben trapped in the bubble and was punching him over and over, so Ben finally bit the kid on the knee so he could get out! Stupid men, why couldn't he have said that with the other mom standing there?! Although I don't know if it would have made a difference, she probably still would have taken her brat to get an extra toy!
The absent parent makes me want to scream. SCREAM. Like you, and so many of your readers, I have no problem with the kids who act like kids. Sometimes they make bad decisions. Sometimes they go up in those horrid tubes and get scared to come down. That's all fine with me.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm not at all fine with are those oblivious parents. The McD's playlands and indoor gyms, inflatable wonderland places, etc. - they are all gross, nasty horror shows. Sometimes, however, they're a necessary evil (birthday parties, rainy days...). When people don't take responsibility for their children, it makes the experience that much worse. I'm with you - the word 'no' needs to make a resurgence in parenting.
Mmmm....Nerds Blizzard. I'm on it.
ReplyDeleteWe stopped at McDonalds on a road trip once. It wasn't too bad UNTIL a kid appeared out of the slide missing any clothing covering his bottom half. Naked. Another kid comes sliding down close behind screaming "POOOOOP!" Apparently, the kid took his diaper off, pooped, and then slide down the slide. UGH GROSS. We left and haven't been to a McDonalds since.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog. Your boys are adorable. I'm excited to read more. :)