Dealing with the What-Ifs

On my list of things to do this week is to get some paperwork from our life insurance company and make some changes. We have no beneficiary listed in the event that Andrew and I both die at the same time. The wise thing to do would be to follow that up with getting a will done.

And that leads me into the following question:

How do you decide who your children's guardian should be if you and your spouse pass away?

Andrew and I asked my parents to take our kids if need be, and they agreed, (which leads one to question their mental stability), but that can only be the plan for so long. At some point they will reach an age where it becomes unfair and/or unrealistic to burden them with young children to care for. We need a contingency plan.

Neither Andrew or I can make a decision as to who we would want to care for our kids if we die and my parents are unable to step in. All we can agree on is who we don't want them to end up with.

There are so many things to consider when making this decision. It's a plan we hope never comes into play, but such an important one to make. A million questions come to mind, as do a million concerns and desires.

I feel like I want them to be raised by someone like me. Only better.

I would want them to go to someone who would be compassionate to a fault after losing their world, their security, their parents, everything they have known.

I would want them to go to people who would treat them like they treat their own children so that my kids don't grow up feeling like second-class citizens.

Money wouldn't be an issue, because we have adequate life insurance to take care of their needs and not burden the new parents, but that responsibility needs to sit in the hands of people who will manage the money fairly, wisely, and in a way that there will still be some left when Trent is in high school.

The kids would need to go to someone who will involve both sides of our family in the kid's lives.

They would need to go to a home where they will be taught the gospel of Jesus Christ by people who live it.

They would need to go to people who are not already overwhelmed with life.

And then there's the politics of it. Do you tell everyone which people have accepted that task, should it arise, or should it remain confidential until it has to be outed?

Do you tell your kids who those people will be so that they would be prepared, or is that too much doom and gloom to put on a kid's mind?

Actually, I think that I already told Cameron and Ethan that they would go to live with Nana and Papa if Daddy and I died. If I recall correctly, they wanted to know if they would have their own rooms.

And finally, how do you decide between two or more possible choices? I try to picture my kids living with choice A or choice B, etc...but I can't imagine it in any scenario. It's a hard thing to do. I don't want to picture them with anyone else, and my brain can't seem to break down that protective barrier and really see it.

Eeny-meeny-miney-mo cannot be employed here.

So my question to you is; if this is a decision you have already made, how did you decide? What things did you consider? What clinched the decision? Were there problems that you didn't consider or didn't see coming until you had already made the decision? How do you do this?